You gotta release the need for validation. You gotta release the need for positive feedback and stop worrying about other ppl shaming or insulting you. They are insignificant.
A couple of books that I’ve read that have helped solidify this for me: “The Four Agreements” and “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck”.
Once you get to the point of recognizing everyone has a perspective AND get ok with not trying to please them, your cares to give significantly dwindle.
It is also necessary to not live for positive opinions and head pats from random ppl. Shake off the need for that. Get secure in what you value and what makes you happy.
Sometimes ppl use positive opinions to shape behavior. “Ohhh. I love your hair like that.” Or “I love you I dresses. You look so good.” These compliments on the surface are not THAT bad. But when ppl use “nice” ways to shape behavior, they become insidious little snakes creeping into your mind. Like, oh, Suchandsuch said he likes red on me. I should buy this red dress. Now you’re acting for validation vs buying the dress that you want.
The flip side. “I hate when women dance like that.” You happen to be a woman that dances “like that”, but has decided to stop dancing like “that” due to a negative opinion. Sometimes, no…always…best to just be you regardless of the opinions. We all have them.
A big one from the Four Agreements is to not take things personally. Do not take other ppl’s opinions or interpretations to heart. You will always be off balance if your emotions rest on another person’s opinion. You have to be grounded in being uniquely you and NOT a chameleon changing with the fickleness of others.
Something I’ve taken to saying, “I will not argue your perspective/interpretation.” We all have experiences that shape why we move and how we form opinions. Your opinion is valid. Other ppl’s opinions are valid. Namaste 🙏🏾 🧘🏾♀️