Back in the day, early in mommyhood, I would wake up early, clean up real good, just to watch my child destroy everything in 5 min. I did this everyday, even once I had 2 kids who managed to tear up the place, I would make sure the house was clean before leaving to do anything for the day.
One summer day, I just said, forget this. The cleaning can wait and took the kids to the park. Life was perfectly fine even though I left the apartment a bit messy. And we enjoyed the day.
That was my Aha moment in becoming Unbothered. The house cleaning can wait. It’ll be there. You do not always have to stress over the cleaning. This is not to say that you should allow your place to look like you’ve given up. I’m just saying that washed dishes and a clean toilet is enough of a pass to get going for the day.
My second tip. Find a room or space to just give the kids and don’t worry about the mess. My kids have taken over our front room. They have the big tv. That is where their toys and supplies are. I seriously don’t care. I grab the dishes each day and pick up a bit, but I’ve released the stress of caring about toys. The key is to make sure that they don’t start encroaching on the other spaces.
My 3rd tip, I don’t holler about spills or accidents. Kids make messes. This is life. What I have done since they were small is say, “it’s ok. It was an accident. Let’s just clean it up together.” What this has taught my kids is that small things can be overcome and they come to me when something happens vs hiding their mistakes. I’m teaching my kiddos that they can trust me with mistakes or accidents. I want them to know they can always come to me.
My 4th tip. Find an hour for yourself, by yourself each day. It might be before the kids wake up, it might when they go to bed, but find some time. Mommyhood requires sooo much of you. You have to find a way to pour into yourself. This isn’t an escape, this is to recharge. I use my time to workout. When it’s nice outside I go for a run. I commune with nature as meditation. When it’s cold, I exercise inside doing strength training, yoga, and treadmill work.
My 5th tip. I buy things for myself without feeling guilty. We are a 1 income family on a budget. I still find small ways to give myself treats. I might buy a lipgloss or some chocolate or some running shoes. I like having cute workout clothes and will treat myself with a bright shirt or tank. We ALWAYS take care of the kids. Remember that you, mama, are worthy as well!!
- The house cleaning can wait.
- Give the kids a space and don’t stress over messes.
- Don’t holler about spills or accidents.
- Find an hour for yourself.
- Buy yourself a treat or nice things periodically.