What Type of Parent are You?

There are all types of parents that range from Helicopter parents to Free range parents to absolutely neglectful parents. They are ranges and levels and mixtures to all of these. And I know that experts have identified and created many labels for the different parenting styles. I appreciate being able to cultivate and tailor my parenting style for both of my kids personalities.

Being a stay at home mom creates opportunities to fill the days with WHATEVER. Literally there are no boundaries. This type of freedom can be a double edged sword in that there are no checks, balances, or any one watching and dictating what you should be doing. Some ppl work best with directions and lists. Some ppl work best with the flow. I think I fall somewhere in between.

Before I became a mom, I just KNEW there were gonna be things we did together. I thought that the kids would sleep in their beds and actually take naps. I thought they’d love homemade foods. I just knew we’d go to coffee shops and I’d read while my littles napped. (Insert hearty laughter 😂😂😂) Yeah, no. Lol.

I am soooo glad that I had my kids in my 30’s and that I was in good mental and physical health. Why? Bc they are so active and inquisitive and I have the energy and patience to spare. They are both so different. And in being home with them, it’s given me the opportunity to allow them to mostly dictate their own path and “likes”. They are literal sponges, and I see a lot of me in my children. But they are still very much individuals and I love it.

The controlling parent tends to be strict about their beliefs and daily schedules. There are consequences for bucking the system, talking back (aka attempting to have an opinion), and/or slacking on the rite activities. These types may seem overbearing and can have issues with their kids on the back end once the kid leaves.

The helicopter parents create a different problem in that they hoover and just do things for their kids. They don’t let them fail, they clean up their messes, and it creates humans that may not be equipped to solve problems. These parents will fill out paperwork and call teachers to “fix” grades. They look at issues as problems outside of their households to fix vs teaching kids to adjust. This COULD create dependency issues later in life.

The free range parent kinda just lets the kid go. I won’t go so far to say neglect the kid, but depending on where you live and how the house ends up looking “neglectful” could be appropriate. Setting the kid up with the basics of survival and letting them do their own thing COULD help some kids develop into the humans they wanna be, but it could also send humans into the world with absolutely NO structure.

I don’t really have a label for my style of parenting. Mine is definitely a shade of gray on the parenting scale. I like to think of myself as a steward of their safety, but I slow them to take the lead on some things. My kids are YOUNG. So that means that my approach is early and obviously subject to change. I give myself that grace that I can change as necessary bc my kids will change as well.

Anywho, what is your parenting style and if you don’t have kids, what parenting styles did your parents have? What styles have you observed thru friends, family, and the outside world?

Willful Smart Watch Review

This is an amazing watch!! I made a review. Check it out. youtu.be/hm_mG0ZRZSU


This watch is AHH-may-zing!! I spent about $31 after tax. I know that iPhone watches and Samsung watches can easily run you hundreds of dollars. I’m a stay at home mom on a budget. I wanted a solid watch to track my fitness activities, heart rate, and sleep. This does so much more than that!!

Here is a link. https://amzn.to/391EhlM

You can even buy different wristbands with different colors. Totally recommend!

Shake the Need for Head Pats

You gotta release the need for validation. You gotta release the need for positive feedback and stop worrying about other ppl shaming or insulting you. They are insignificant.

A couple of books that I’ve read that have helped solidify this for me: “The Four Agreements” and “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck”.

Once you get to the point of recognizing everyone has a perspective AND get ok with not trying to please them, your cares to give significantly dwindle.

It is also necessary to not live for positive opinions and head pats from random ppl. Shake off the need for that. Get secure in what you value and what makes you happy.

Sometimes ppl use positive opinions to shape behavior. “Ohhh. I love your hair like that.” Or “I love you I dresses. You look so good.” These compliments on the surface are not THAT bad. But when ppl use “nice” ways to shape behavior, they become insidious little snakes creeping into your mind. Like, oh, Suchandsuch said he likes red on me. I should buy this red dress. Now you’re acting for validation vs buying the dress that you want.

The flip side. “I hate when women dance like that.” You happen to be a woman that dances “like that”, but has decided to stop dancing like “that” due to a negative opinion. Sometimes, no…always…best to just be you regardless of the opinions. We all have them.

A big one from the Four Agreements is to not take things personally. Do not take other ppl’s opinions or interpretations to heart. You will always be off balance if your emotions rest on another person’s opinion. You have to be grounded in being uniquely you and NOT a chameleon changing with the fickleness of others.

Something I’ve taken to saying, “I will not argue your perspective/interpretation.” We all have experiences that shape why we move and how we form opinions. Your opinion is valid. Other ppl’s opinions are valid. Namaste 🙏🏾 🧘🏾‍♀️

Our Kids are a Mirror

Before I became a mom; before I even met my husband, I knew I wanted to be a hands on mom. I never envisioned being a stay at home mom, but maybe just having a part time job with flexible hours. After college, I worked some crazy long hours and spent a good chunk of time in traffic. I would wonder how families pulled this off, had quality with each other, could deal with the needs of home, and could take care of themselves. This is when I decided I wanted to just work part time. I knew in my 20’s.

Fast forward to today, I watch my kiddos, 4 yr old Chrissy and 6 yr old Jeremiah, and I’m glad that I made that decision so early on. My kids have spent their entire formative years with me. This isn’t to say that I’ve raised them in a cocoon, but it’s certainly been a safe space to blossom.

Children learn best in low stress and safe environments. I feel that we have provided that. And I have created a lifestyle that has allowed my kids to develop interests specific to them and I see myself reflected in them. I know, even without looking up the science behind it, that children are sponges. They literally mirror everything you do. This is why modeling good behaviors is clutch.

I am in a mom group and one post brought up using cuss words in front of the kids. I said that I don’t curse or use inappropriate language. I’ve seen too many instances where kids and teens are using words and terms that make me as an adult blush. And I’ve seen first hand how my kids say the “good stuff” from me, so I fall on the side of having my mirrors reflect the good stuff.

I was a personal trainer before becoming a stay at home mom. So fitness is near and dear to me. I also drink coffee everyday. I used to go to Starbucks with my first born. So, he has been my “drinking partner” for a while. I kinda laugh seeing my kids workout or drink my drinks or say phrases I say. I also smile as they show their personalities. They both have very distinct and strong tastes. The cool thing about my job as I see it is giving my kids the space and opportunity to grow. The fact that they take some of me is a bonus.

Reflecting on the Newborn Stage. Whew… 😅

The sleep deprivation that comes along with new babies changes your brain. It changes your life early on. You go into survival mode for a while. Add on breastfeeding, cluster nursing, and small ppl who can’t differentiate their cries, you can easily unravel.

Nothing really prepares you for the obstacle course that is navigating mommyhood on 2 hours of sleep. All the wonderful plans that you made before the baby arrived can EASILY go out the window. Some of us try to say this, but there’s no way to understand until you go thru it yourself.

Whew. Them cluster feedings were something else. I just needed to revisit that. I am amazed that I made it thru 2 yrs of breastfeeding for both kids. As I think back on that, I do not wanna do that again. While your in it, you just handle it. When you have enough rest to reflect, you can appreciate all that you’ve accomplished.

My doll baby as a newborn

I recognize that many of us have kids. Every. Single. Day! I get it. But truly, what we accomplish is still astounding. No matter if we work, stay home, have one kid, have multiples, have a spouse, have in-laws, have parents to take care of, have friends, have no support…it’s a challenge. I don’t care how effortless some moms make it look, there’s repeated obstacles. I know how much work it takes to make motherhood look effortless.

My lil man around 2 years old

The other day, I walked thru some snow. Some places the sidewalk wasn’t cleared, but other ppl had walked that way though. You could see the tracks. I just walked on the same steps. It helped the journey. Mommyhood is similar…at times. Some things you can learn from other moms. Some things you’ll learn along the way. But if you’ve built a network of other moms, there’s someone that has walked the path. And many will help navigate the process. 🙏🏾❤️🙌

My heart beats